First Date Panic Attack

You snagged a date with a cute guy! Now what? You find yourself completely giddy and in panic mood all at the same time. If you’re anything like me you end up having a full blown anxiety attack. You want to impress him, but without looking like you tired too hard. This could be your last first date ever, you want everything to go flawlessly. Before you start hyperventilating, take a chill pill, and take my advice.

What do I wear?

Before you freak out and decide you have NOTHING to wear, take a breath and call a girlfriend. First dates are extremely nerve-racking, but choosing an outfit should be the least of your worries! First dates are never too fancy, I can bet you right now that he’s probably going to take you out for some casual Italian cuisine or sushi. Don’t over-think it! Simply flatter your features! Wear something that you feel 100% comfortable with and play around with fun colors. Put on your best pair of dark skinny jeans, a cute top, some heels, and maybe a cute necklace to match. DONE. Wearing your best dress & heels on the first date might make you come off as too high maintenance. Keep it cute & casual!

What should I do with my hair?

If you have straight hair, give your hair some waves. But don’t go over the top, this isn’t prom. Give your hair some  “natural” waves, you know the kind that totally aren’t “natural” and took you about 45 min to look  “natural.” Those casual kinda waves.

For my curly haired ladies, just tame it. Don’t straighten it out completely, that makes it look like you’re trying too hard, he already knows you have curly hair. Embrace it.

What do I say when I open the door?

Answering the door is scary! First of all, if you have roommates, have one of them answer the door. They want to get a good look at him anyways. Act like you “didn’t know” he was already there. Grab your purse, say hi, hug him (if you’re on the hugging and it’s not awkward level), tell your roomie goodbye and walk out the door.

Now if you live solo, opening the door is terrifying. If you’re afraid, maybe you should down a glass of wine to work up the courage. He’s just as nervous as you are. Answer the door with a big smile, and trust me, you’re gonna be just fine.

What if he texts me that he’s outside instead of coming to the door?

This might come off a little crazy, but you should pretend that you never saw his text. I’m serious! This boy needs to learn to be a man. If you have your read receipts on, do not open the text.  Just wait. Eventually he’s going to have to come to the door, he can’t wait in his vehicle forever.  When he finally does knock on the door, act natural. When you guys start driving whip out your phone and say “Haha, I just got your text.” This method works like a charm! He’ll never text “I’m here” again.

Should I wear heels? What if I’m taller than him?

I personally think you should always wear heels on the first date, simply to get the “am I going to be taller than him” question out of the way. Never wear anything too high, I’d stick to 3 maybe 4 inches max.

Once upon a time my roommate was nervous about being taller than a guy. Soooo, I came up with the brilliant idea to make height tally marks on the door frame. Make a dash mark of your height in heels and without heels. When you or your roommate answer the door, pay attention to what the guy’s height is in correspondence to the dash marks. If he’s above them, wear the heels! If he’s a shortie, stick to some cute flats or sandals.

Is it okay to order an alcoholic beverage?

This is a tricky subject. If he flips to the beer & wine selection on the menu, then you’re in the clear. Order the wine! I know your nervous and he could probably go for a beer. A little booze in your system will loosen both of you up and make conversation run smoothly.

If he doesn’t flip to the wine/beer section, when the server comes to the table, if asked what you’d like to drink first, respond “he’ll order first…” or “one moment, he can go first.”  This way you’ll find out if he’s drinking — it would be quite awkward if you ordered a stiff drink and he ordered water.

What do I do if there’s an awkward pause in conversation?

Break it! Talk about the weather, the restaurant, and if it’s an emergency – your dog, just talk about something! Ask him about his hometown, or about his classes/job. If you’re feeling really comfortable with him, it can be fun to play 20 questions back & forth. Ask silly questions like favorite color, food, beer, car, it’s a simple way to learn quirky little things about each other.

On the other hand, if you’re a natural born talker — it’s also important to make sure that you’re allowing him to talk.  Sometimes nervous chatters don’t allow the other person to speak.  If you feel you may be talking too much, make sure to ask him a couple questions.

Is it okay to kiss on the first date?

Every relationship is different. Normally I’d say no… But hey, if the date went perfectly and he leans in for a kiss goodnight, I say why not! You can’t fight your feelings sometimes. No making-out though, just some sweet peck kisses. You know the kinda kiss where it’s like three peck kisses in one, but you hold on the last one. That kind of kiss makes him want to take you out on another date ASAP! I think the first kiss is very important, so make sure it doesn’t feel rushed or forced. A first kiss should happen naturally!

Do I text him?

If the date went well, he’s going to text you. Now chances are he’ll play the stupid two or three day rule. (I wish I could punch the man who came up with that.) If you really like the guy I see no point in waiting for him to text you. I’ve learned that if you text him 30 minutes to an hour after he drops you off saying “Thanks again for a great night!” it puts the ball in his court. He’ll respond with something along the lines of “I had a good time.” The fact that he texted back is fantastic news! At this point it’s your job to end the conversation and tell him goodnight. More than likely he’ll still wait the two  or three days to text you, don’t sweat it, he’s interested. When the end of the 3rd day comes around and he still hasn’t texted you, weigh your options… If you really liked him and thought the date went well, shoot a “hey you!” text and feel out the situation… If you’re unsure, wait longer, or move on to the next catch!

You’re welcome.

Xoxo,

Ruby