Dear girls,
I’m not sure who invented this rule, but if you think that wearing less clothing gets the guy, it’s a lie. What it really does is catch his eye temporarily… and as we all know, guys easily get distracted by shiny little blonde things all the time – so, your skimpy outfit will not catch his eye for long. What will permanently catch his eye and capture his heart is a genuine girl. A girl he can take home to mom, proudly introduce to his boss, and respectfully bring around his friends.
BUT – If you present yourself in a tight black dress, that is barely grabbing your bottom, along with stiletto heels, you’re saying “take me home, but not to mommy.” Seriously, if you’re a girl that desires this type of attention, let me be honest, that attention won’t last long. He’ll take you to his house, probably devalue you, and then leave you to do the “walk of shame” with those stiletto heels and black dress still on from the night before. If you call that affection or love, well honey, it’s not, because that wasn’t real affection you received – that was someone using you.
I’m not demonizing girls who dress this way. I just want them to know they’re worth so much more! I’ve seen so many guys laugh at girls behind their back, calling them sl**s, because they’re barely wearing anything in public — or worse, when it’s cold out. Honestly, a guy appreciates a girl who is confident in herself, and by showing all her skin she’s basically saying she’s got nothing to offer but her body. Call me a mean girl for saying that, but it’s true. Wearing practically nothing, or nothing at all, distracts from who you really are, and a man just won’t take you seriously.
Sure, it’s fun for guys to whistle and “holler” at you when you’re wearing those skimpy things – but, really? Do you really need that kind of attention? You know what will get better attention? A classic diamond… A diamond in the rough – that means making public arrivals in a precious outfit that covers your bottom and most of your chest and presenting yourself like a classy lady. I remember so many times in college going out in jeans, heels, and a cute top — and those would be the nights that all the nice guys hit on me. You know, the ones who genuinely wanted to talk, not offer a ton of drinks and call a cab for two.
The bottom line is, be the person that a man would want to marry, not just party with. Ask yourself, would you someday want your own son to marry a girl who barely wears anything and embarrasses you out in public? I’m sure you wouldn’t. And the guy you’re looking for will really care about what his mom thinks — they all do. If you go fishing for men with your body as bait, you’re only gonna catch body-snatchers, and, let’s be honest, you’ll only end up throwing them back. I know you have a cute little body and you want to flaunt it, but there’s a time and place to show off your skin… It’s called the beach or the pool.
So, stop and think before you put that skimpy outfit on; you’re a gem that should shine not blind, to be presented not flaunted and to be prized, NOT used!
Love,
Diamond
68 Comments
LOVE this post! Thank you for sharing your heart!
y’all bitter xoxo
Ugh this is so demeaning. He’ll take you to his house and “devalue” you?? Since when does sex make someone less of a person? If a women wants to go out and have causal sex that is up to her and what gives you the right to tell her that she’s better than that and worth more than that? And being a person someone would want to marry? No. If someone isn’t looking to get married any time in the near future and isn’t looking for a committed relationship then why would they bother presenting themselves that way? “You’re worth so much more!” Stop shaming girls for wearing what they want to wear.
This is not demeaning at all. Sadly, there are many guys who do not care about women. All they want is hook up with someone for the night, then move on to the next person. This is not valuing women, this is taking advantage of them. How women dress affect how guys view them,. Sadly, many young women don’t realize this until it is too late. It is true that a women can make her own choices, but women need to realize that how they dress affects how they are viewed.
Apparently your one of “those casual sex girls” or else this wouldn’t offend you so much!!
No, it’s called respecting all women, regardless of whether or not they have the same values as you. If we don’t respect eachother, how can we expect any male to? Realize you are worth so much more than just being a male’s counterpart to reproduce (although if that is what you’re into, by all means you do you girl! It’s all good). All females should be feminists y’all.
I believe in treating everyone kindly but I will not respect immodesty. Offering approval to self damaging behaviors is the opposite of love.
You don’t have to be ” one of those casual sex girls” to state an opinion that disagrees with the article. I just think it’s sad when people focus more on what a woman is wearing than her character. I do agree with some of the key points, but those key points wouldn’t have to be made if certain men would view women as human beings and not a conquest.
What women wears is a reflection on her character.
That’s a slippery phrase right there. Day-to-day, our outfits change. Situation to situation, our outfits change. I would wear a very different dress to a wedding than I would to a bar (mind you I’m happily engaged and everything I wear covers my rear end). Sometimes I dress somewhat flashily when I go out with my SO because I want to show my feathers a bit for him.
Then again, those are days I actually pick an outfit, do my hair, and put on makeup. My job however, can get pretty dirty. I get back from the field covered in mud, dust, and burrs more often than not. I’m also a student that wakes up before dawn. Those days, I look kind of like a slob.
So how would you know I wasn’t on a date with my SO, and went to the bar to buy us both a drink, or hadn’t just come back from the field? You can’t judge someone at a glance.
And of course, one of my favorite quotes to pull out in situations like this is Matthew 7:1-3:
7 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
We can all strive for it, but who among us can call themselves perfect and without sin? The only difference is what sin we are guilty of.
I’m sorry is that a bad thing?
The one to get offended is usually the one who is going out and having “casual sex”. And yes, having casual sex is “devaluing”. Sex does not make you “less of a person” but going out and having “casual sex” does. If you’re not looking to get married or be in committed relationship then it seems to me like you aren’t grown up enough to be having sex anyways. And yes, girls shouldn’t dress like sluts. That just makes them look desperate, easy, and trashy. So…I agree with this blog 110%. Yepp.
“If you consider a woman less pure after you’ve touched her, maybe you should take a look at your own hands.”
I remember when I used to say things like this….Look, those may be just your values, but they aren’t everyone else’s values, nor should they be. Just because a woman doesn’t want to get married or be in a relationship doesn’t make her any less grown than anyone else. If she sleeps with 1 guy or 100 guys, you may see her as less valuable but thanks goodness not all men don’t see them that way. Have you ever seriously thought to yourself, “Who am I to judge those that have no affect over me?”
A woman is to never be told what she should or should not wear, think, or behave by anyone else. She is an adult and she is the authority over herself and her life. We all need to remember this and let people live the way they want to live without judgment, period. There’s no excuse for it. Just stop the judging.
Values ought to be based on truth. And the truth is that casual sex hurts men women and children, It causes emotional baggage and broken families. Women who participate in casual sex sell themselves short of the amazing intimate, emotional, loving experience that sex is supposed to be. If we “let people live” in ways that hurt themselves and say nothing then we show we don’t care for them. Contrary to the modern mindset, accepting someone for “who they are” when they are hurting themselves and others is not a positive thing. It’s not judgement to point out self destructive behavior, it’s love.
I understand what you are saying. The thing is, you don’t have to like what other women wear if you don’t want to. But you don’t get to harass anyone or preach to them about it personally. I have once made the almost exact statement you have made here, so I know where you are coming from, believe it or not. But I learned, through experience that just because a woman might be wearing clothes that are more revealing than I would personally wear myself, does not mean that she doesn’t respect herself or value her body. It just means that her ways of self expression are different and that doesn’t make her way of presenting herself in public any less than the way you choose to present yourself. There are no rights or wrongs in the way we dress. If you really want to have limited view of how people are ten that is your choice. I personally live with the conscious of knowing that the way one chooses to dress or lives their lives is none of my business. They do not have any obligation to dress to please the eyes of another, nor do they have the obligation of being safe. You can choose to not accept the way others live, but you honestly do not have a choice whatsoever in deciding how they get to live. So hate it all you want, but that’s only your own burden to bear…so whatever floats your boat in that respect, but at the end of the day, they can do as they please just as you can. You don’t have the power or authority to change anyone or try to convince them to cover up their body just as no one else has the authority to tell you to show off yours.
Amen! Girls, don’t let people tell you that you aren’t valuable because you have sex or you dress a certain way. That’s a double standard. It’s okay for men to do that but not us? We aren’t objects to be owned or ogled. When are both women and men alike going to realize that?
Sex is very demeaning in the wrong context. Sex is meant to be an incredibly intimate special physical expression of a deep and abiding love and commitment for another person. When you take it out of that context and make it just about the physical it becomes incredibly shallow. You allow your body to be used for a small amount of physical pleasure instead and you sell yourself short of everything it should have been. And undoubtedly women who allow themselves to be used like that will pay for it emotionally some day. We should all demand better for ourselves.
I agree with modesty. I don’t like showing off my body. But this is based on the assumption that girls are dressing up for guys. If a girl likes to dress like that (because SHE likes the way she feels when she dresses like that) then that’s how she should dress. The problem is that women feel that they have to dress sexily because they are desperate for male attention. Likewise, some women are afraid to dress sexily because they feel that they will have men leering at them (or worse!). A girl should not be torn down for how she dresses- modestly or sexily- as long as she is dressing for her happiness instead of other people’s (man or female).
I agree, but when your going out to a club, you are not looking to go home to mommy. You are also not going to go clubbing in jeans and a sweatshirt. I hate to break it to you boys but half the time girls dress up as a sort of way to compete with eachother. If your friend is wearing heels and a dress clubbing, thats what you are going to wear too. Half of the time were dressing for the compliments not for a man.
The woman that wrote this is fat. Let that understanding sink in.
as a guy, I can confirm that this is true. The best looking girls wear nearly no makeup and shop at the loft or banana republic. They do not have mouths.
A guy will take home almost any girl home on any given night, but he is only going to be proud to allow a select few to meet his parents.
A big thing I have learned in sales(been doing it for 12 years), you should dress how you want people to perceive you.
I wish more girls would read this and realize that we honestly do not want some skank dressed girl.
It’s nice to see there are still good guys like this!
As a girl, I can confirm this is false. From experience. From conversations. Sometimes, I am a “skank dressed girl” and yes, sometimes that’s because I’m looking to hook up. But showing skin doesn’t mean you want sex. Because if you’re really a smart guy, you’ll know that every girl – and human being, for that matter – is layered and is not what they wear. Plus, “skank dressed girl” is super offensive, dude. Until there is an equivalent word to “skank” referring to men, you should not use it. It’s oppressive and demeaning.
However many layers you may have, how you dress is a reflection on your character and good guys are repelled by immodesty.
I’m sorry, they “do not have mouths”? I’m not sure I’m okay with what you are implying there.
Sorry for partying
Or we could all butt out and realize that we don’t have the right to judge anyone on what they wear. It’s their life who cares how someone perceives them. How does a girl wearing skimpy clothing affect you? This misogynistic society where girls are expected to catch a guys attention but then get heavily judged for being a “slut” is hypocritical and ludacris. Let everyone make their own decisions and stay out of it
Offering approval or acceptance of self damaging behaviors is the opposite of love. And immodesty and promiscuity are self damaging for both men and women.
You wrote: “I know you have a cute little body and you want to flaunt it, but there’s a time and place to show off your skin… It’s called the beach or the pool. So, stop and think before you put that skimpy outfit on… and remember you’re a gem, you deserve the world… not for someone to just use you.”
Why is it OK to show off your skin at the beach? Do the rules for modesty change in the vicinity of sand and water? Wouldn’t that make the beach a good place to find someone to “use”?
Now please do another write up and tell the dudes who think they are men how to be real men. To respect a woman. To get off the video games. Get real jobs. Move out of Mommy’s house. Be proactive. Quite watching porn. (That’s what women are competing with). Be men of character. Pull up their pants. Open the door for her. Call her, not text.
Men aren’t men anymore.
I don’t know about the rest of men but I will keep watching my porn and playing video games. What is wrong with playing video games? Does it make me less of a “man”? As long as I treat other people well should it matter if I watch porn? No, it doesn’t.
Loving your comment!
I like this comment! Now that’s the truth.
I don’t think this article was meant to be judgemental. She never said, “Stop acting like a slut.” She was stating that IF you want men to value you, you aren’t going to get their respect by dressing like that. If you are looking for casual sex, go for it. Her point was that so many woman feel like they have to dress a certain way to get any guys attention. She was saying that IF you are trying to impress a guy and IF you are looking for a good guy, then letting your tatas hang out isn’t the way to do it. Obviously, every girl who goes out is not looking for a husband. But IF you want a good wholesome guy, be classy. The end. Everyone who jumped down her throat for being judementl, shame on you. You were doing the same thing and completely misunderstood the point of this article.
Just because she didn’t mean to be judgmental doesn’t mean she isn’t. Men have nothing to do with the way a women should or shouldn’t dress. How about an article about wearing what you want to despite what ever people think. Really this article should be more about men having respect for people regardless of what they choose to wear. I understand she may not have meant to be judgmental but intention doesn’t excuse your actions. I’ll wear what I want if you want to waste your time calling me a slut then fuck you. I dress for me and no one else and thats how it should be. Unfortunately, articles like this discourage women for being who they want and encourage men to continue unacceptable behaviour.
What’s the harm in being “judgemental”? I can see clear as day how immodesty is damaging to women and men. So I, like Ms. Diamond have made a judgement that classy is best. And when we publicly state it we do so because we want the best for men and women everywhere. You can call that judgemental if you like but I call it love. Offering approval or acceptance of self damaging behaviors is the opposite of love.
1. Just because you feel judged doesn’t mean that author is a judgmental person. You feel defensive because you don’t agree with her opinions/observations. Just the way it is– unclench. 2. “Men have nothing to do with the way a woman should or shouldn’t dress”? Maybe you don’t allow men to influence what you wear– good for you. But I doubt you speak for all women here. We didn’t wear boob-tacular dresses to the bars because we wanted other women to compliment our bodies. Be honest with yourself. 3. Why should a man respect a woman who doesn’t respect herself? An interesting part of feminism is the hard-staunched belief that women can do, say, dress, act any which way they want and it should be completely left alone because she is woman, hear her roar. I get that…to a point. But just as I don’t respect a man for walking with his pants sagging down to his knees, I am not surprised that a man wouldn’t respect a woman for letting her cheeks hang out from her teeny dress. He should NOT lay hands on her, but I’m not surprised that he would make fun of her and place bets on how quickly he could get her into bed. 4. There’s no need for UBER defensiveness in the form of cursing at people. No one called anyone a slut. If you’re so comfortable with yourself, it shouldn’t matter to you what anyone on here thinks. But obviously from your language, it touches you quite deeply. Bravo. 5. You dress for you…I can see myself practically naked anytime I want, but I’m not going to take that to the streets. Why? Because like it or not, you wouldn’t wear practically nothing to a job interview. Deep down you know that impressions are made by how you present yourself. But good luck getting the job in clear acrylic stiletto heels.
I would go so far as to say the beach or pool also isn’t the place to wahoo it. You don’t walk around your house in undergarments in front of your dad, why do it in front of a hundred other dads?
Modest is the hottest.
I like to wear modest clothes, but then again I’m not a feminist.
Being a feminist means you want equality between the sexes. Uhm, you don’t want that? What’s wrong with equality?
Feminists want privelege, not equality. But that’s for another time.
If you knew anything about the feminist movement, then you would realize how incredibly ignorant and sexist you sound.
It’s privilege, not “privelege”, and as a feminist, I only want equality. How would you know what a feminist wants when you aren’t one?
What you wear doesn’t make you a feminist. Fighting against inequality does. Please stop…
Honey. I am conservative. I dress modestly as well; however, I will fight to my last breath to ensure that every woman and girl have the opportunity to pursue their dreams. I suggest that you Google “women in the middle east”, “school girls in Afriaca”, and domestic abuse stats. Feminism is about eliminating patriarchies that keep women powerless Being a feminist has nothing to do hating men, burning bras, being rebellious or, whatever notions you seem to have. Educate your ignorant self. Oh, and if you have an education, can vote, or drive, you can thank a feminist.
That’s all great but she’s not uneducated or ignorant. All those things you listed may be what “true” feminism is about but every since the sexual revolution that word has been hijacked in America by women who think promiscuity, acting like men, and killing their own babies is what it means to be a woman. Also your comment was condescending, I would think you would be more respectful of women if you care so much about their rights.
What exactly does “acting like men” mean to you?
Hi Diamond,
I really appreciate your courage to talk about this subject and to lovingly inspire girls to think about how they present themselves. Despite what some say and think, the way a girl chooses to dress- or not dress- herself says a lot about her. You made a lot of great points in this article and I appreciate that! However, may I suggest that the part about a girl being able to flaunt her body at the beach or pool kind of shoots the rest of the article in the foot? What good does it do for a girl to to cover herself up in other places and then have her body as good as bare for everyone to see at the beach or pool? I would like to suggest to you that the only place for a girl to “flaunt” her body is in the bedroom with her husband. The rest of your points were great though, and I hope you hear my suggestion in the kind tone that it is intended. =)
I’ll preface this by saying that I don’t really dress provocatively, but I do have a problem with what you’re saying because it’s down right degrading. When are we going to start holding guys accountable for demeaning us?? If I want to wear a cute dress FOR MYSELF (which I do dress for myself because I wear things because I like them and not to get attention from guys–I’d prefer for guys to notice other things about me than my body), I should not have to worry about what guys are thinking of me. That’s not really my responsibility. I agree that you should respect yourself enough not to walk out of your house wearing practically nothing, but not because you want to save guys from thinking certain things about you or you want to get a “good” guy. My whole life I grew up hearing about modesty and sending out the right message, but nothing about teaching guys how to treat women. When are we going to start teaching men that women are more than objects to ogle over? Guys, start holding yourselves accountable for the ungentlemanly things you may think about us–I shouldn’t have to change MY clothes to make you more comfortable!
Caroline, you are totally right about the fact that guys are responsible for their thoughts and that they should hold themselves accountable. However, here is a different perspective that I would like to present for you to consider. The reason girls should be careful about how they dress is because there are some guys who want to keep their thoughts pure, but because men are visually stimulated, seeing women in revealing clothes make it difficult for them to keep lustful things from coming to mind. Dressing modestly to help the men who will look at us that way whether we are all covered up or not wouldn’t make much difference with this problem, but there are guys who don’t want to think like that. We do it for them. Lets think about how it works. We both agree, I’m sure, that if we leave the house guys will see what we are wearing. They will notice whether it is pretty or ugly and they will notice when the clothing draws attention to certain parts of the body. The problem starts when guys begin to dwell on the lack of clothing. They have control over whether or not they allow their minds to go that far. They are totally responsible for how far they allow that thinking to progress. The problem on the girl’s side is that she walked out in clothing that got that train of thought started. She is responsible for giving the guy a reason to start thinking lustful things. If a girl chooses to leave home in Immodest clothing, she should not be surprised when guys start lusting after her. It is what will naturally happen. Another thing you might consider is the attitude in which this is approached. You say” I shouldn’t have to change MY clothes to make you more comfortable!” What if the men said, “I shouldn’t have to control MY thoughts to make you feel respected!” Neither one of those statement show consideration for the opposite sex, and neither attitude solves the problem. There is equal responsibility on both parties to solve this problem. The girls should not get the problem started, and the guys should not finish it. “Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.”- 1 Corinthians 8:13 That is how we should approach this issue. we should be considerate of the other person and not give them cause to stumble. If girls want respect from men, they need to dress in a way that will give men reason to respect them. If you want to put all the responsibility on the guys, dressing modestly is really the only way you can say it’s completely their fault when they look at you that way. I know this is a long comment!
if you have read down this far, thanks so much for sticking with me and considering this subject from a different viewpoint. 
Gonna be real, I don’t care what a guy thinks about. He needs to control himself. He needs to be brought up to know that cat-calling girls is not a turn on, it is actually quite scary. He needs to know that leering at my chest is creepy. He needs to know that no means no, and the way a girl is dressed does not imply consent or intentions. He needs to know that whatever I choose to do is completely my choice, and if he can’t control himself, it is not a failure on my part to “protect him from temptations”, but a failure on his own part, and society’s, for letting him think these things are ok.
And yes, they should have to change their thoughts to make me feel respected. Because their thoughts turn into action. And if you think even cat-calling is my own fault, then I will let you know I have had whistles, honks, and yelling turned my way when I was in no way dressed to attract attention. Jeans and a shirt. And you’re telling me that is my fault? No way. What do I have to wear to NOT attract that kind of attention, a garbage bag? I’m a female, I have a female’s body. I’m not going to hide it because men apparently have no control over what they think about. If I see an attractive male, I don’t automatically start thinking about what I’d like to do to him. Or even what he would look like naked. Let everyone be held accountable for their own selves, and stop worrying so much about what someone else does or does not wear.
As someone said earlier, we raise our girls not to get raped. Dress modest, know defense techniques, don’t walk alone. We do not raise our boys to not rape.
You know I do think that we do teach people not to rape others. But you should acknowledge that no matter what people are taught some people will still rape others. Everyone knows that rape is wrong, you are an idiot if you think that men think it is okay to rape people. And yes it isn’t your “fault” if you get raped but there are definitely things you can do to help yourself be safe. I wouldn’t walk down a busy street bragging loudly about all of the money in my pocket, would you? No you wouldn’t, because even though it isn’t your “fault” you got robbed you could have helped protect yourself by not being stupid about things.
Obviously rapists think it’s ok to rape people, or they wouldn’t do it. How does thinking that make me an idiot?
@ Hill
I agree with you. Some guys are at fault in the ways that you mentioned. Acting like that is disrespectful and rude and they should know better ( probably do but don’t care). They should change their behavior to make girls feel respected and when they think and act in those ways it is their own fault for letting themselves go that far. You mentioned that guys have acted rudely toward you when you were just in jeans and a shirt. Unfortunately, there are guys who are going to be rude no matter how a girl is dressed. However, some reasons I would implore a woman to dress modestly is 1) for the guys who do not act like that and do not want to be tempted to think like that and 2) to show those guys who act rudely that she is *not* a product of a society that encourages the objectification of women by them showing off every bit of what they have and that she commands their respect 3) to dress in a way that reflects the godliness she is striving for inside (1 Timothy 2:8-10) instead of dressing in a way that hints “I enjoy that kind of attention”
Another point I want to address from your comment is about the clothing itself. Lol, no I don’t believe we girls have to be in garbage bags to be modest. =P Believe me, I love fashionable clothes as much as the next girl! You and I are both female, we have female bodies- beautifully designed by God. Dressing modestly does not hide femininity- it enhances it. I believe that femininity is more than having a body that is shaped like a female. It’s in the way we behave and the person we are on the inside. When a girl dresses immodestly, she gives up a lot because the more she shows off her body the harder it gets for the guys to be able to see the girl on the inside. When a girl dresses modestly, it is easier for the guys to focus on knowing the girl on the inside instead of being distracted by the skin that’s showing. Have no worries, the guys know that a modestly dressed girl is feminine too!
So we agree then? This way, everyone is accountable for themselves and their actions. Guys are to watch what they think and do in respect for their own minds and in respect for the girls, no matter how girls are dressed, and girls are to be careful that their clothing doesn’t encourage guys to start down the wrong road out of respect for the guys and themselves.
Julie, while I understand what you’re saying I just think that we will have to agree to disagree. I just feel that as mothers, sisters, and friends we should influence our boys to grow up with the knowledge that women aren’t sex objects. I do understand that there are guys in this world that will never have the respect for women that I (and I’m sure everyone else) thinks they should have, but I just don’t believe that me dressing a certain way is going to change how someone was raised to think. If we all were a little more concerned with preventative measures like educating boys about consent and respect (and I don’t mean just your run of the mill ‘be nice to girls’ talk that I’m sure most parents give their children–I mean actually teaching boys that girls are there equals and that they can all do the same things) then this problem wouldn’t be as prevalent. That’s just my opinion. In response to what you said about how men shouldn’t have to control their thoughts being the same as me not having to control how I dress to make them comfortable, I think those are completely different situations. As a woman, I am proud of all the things that women before me have worked extremely hard for so that I can not be a second class citizen who is treated only as a piece of property. Having to change my clothing because it makes a man uncomfortable, makes me feel like a piece of property because it is objectifying. Yes, I do understand that men think about sex, but I think most of that is a product of our culture–not an innate trait that men inherently have. Thanks for your response! I enjoyed reading your opinion.
I wouldn’t worry about holding guys accountable because you aren’t one. You are responsible for you. You aren’t responsible for some guy. So dress modestly and responsibly and make sure your end of things is in order.
Kudos to you!!!!!!!!!
Jeese, judgmental much?
TL:DR for my last comment,
It doesn’t matter what you wear. If you respect yourself, people will respect you. You should make choices for yourself and no one else.
WOW! So much controversy over “to dress or not to dress sl–ty.” It makes me wonder if the girls who are so angry just flat out have nothing to show for themselves but their bodies, and they’re mad that someone may take that away too, leaving them stripped bare of anything of value. How SAD! It sounds like a lot of girls out there need a self esteem boost!
I gotta say, all these girls keep saying – “you have to make your own choices, and respect yourself, and people will respect you,” but, COME ON, ladies – not all our choices are good ones, just because we make them! That is why we ask advice, read blogs, take classes, do internet research… because we need help with our choices. Now, if you don’t want advice, such as from this blog, I suggest you also stop: Watching The Fashion Police, Reading fashion magazines, and asking your friends, “Do I look good in this?” And that line about “respect yourself, and others will too,” HAHA – what a delusion. I’m sure there’s alot of your eco enemies, rapists, hardened criminals,etc, who respect themselves too – does that mean we respect them back?! As for me, I think I will take advice,and earn respect, not expect it. And this blog, for me, is one step in the right direction.(And my own choices, will be made on diverse and solid advice!)
I choose to dress relatively modestly because it has always been my style (and I get cold easily). However, I don’t believe in judging women based on what they wear. If men are judging how a woman is in life based on what she is wearing, that is his problem. Not hers. She should not have to modify what she wears in order to maximize on how men view her, not that any woman should or would want a guy who judged women based on such ridiculous standards in the first place.
The problem here isn’t how a woman is dressed. It’s how men view women who are dressed that way. That’s what needs to be changed. Not the clothes.
Besides, there are actually many good men out there that see past what a woman wears and would marry her for her and not because she dresses modestly. Those are the men women want.
Wear what you want ladies. Do your thing, your way, and the right man for you will love you. Trust me. 😉
What a woman wears is a reflection on her character and it is a part of who she is. It certainly isn’t everything but it is a good indicator. If a woman dresses provocatively it is an indicator that she is likely more promiscuous than someone who dresses modestly. It is important to some men that their woman is not promiscuous, It is also important to some men that their woman saves her body for his eyes only. It isn’t just an issue of how men perceive women. Women send a message about themselves with the way they dress and it isn’t just to men. When I see another woman dressed in too little clothing it makes me think she doesn’t value herself and her body very much. And you know why I think that? Because it’s usually true. And whether or not you are aware of it I’m sure you judge people on clothing all the time. Contrary to your view, I wouldn’t want a man who didn’t care how I dressed. I feel way more valued by a man that is concerned that I don’t expose myself and look nice in public than one who could care less. How you dress matters. Its even more obvious in the professional world. Don’t fool yourself.
[…] tell me that I must be “fat” because I feel this way. I heard this so many times on my modesty blog. I’m 5’4 and 115 pounds… And modest clothes are incredibly cute. Look at Kate Middleton […]
Diamond Diploma is obviously a Christian-based blog. Modesty is a Christian value. If you’re not Christian and don’t believe in these values, I don’t understand why you would go out of your way to read this and comment.
Because there are a lot of different types of Christians, and being a Christian doesn’t mean you hold the same values as every other Christian. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many protestant groups, would there?
To me it’s interesting to see what those other values are. I liked the way she put it, because she didn’t intend any offense. By and large she simply stated her opinion on the matter. That doesn’t mean I agree with her though. What I will argue with is the hurtful language used in a lot of the comments. There’s a difference between respectful discourse and mud-slinging.
What are your thoughts on bikinis? You talk a lot about modesty and such, but if modesty is that important, aren’t bikinis a big NO? I mean, bikinis show the most skin out almost any outfit you can pull off wearing in public. Bikinis are something almost everyone wears and they are popular, and if you don’t wear one, people think you are super conservative. What are your thoughts?