5 years ago I weighed 13 pounds less. After a terrible breakup I ran every single day. I hit the pavement non-stop, and I told that pavement I was BOSS. I felt great. I was in good shape and felt incredibly confident, not to mention, all my clothes fit me perfectly. Then, I met a guy. I met the one. And in the first 3 months alone, I gained 5 pounds.
5 pounds may not seem like a lot, but in girl world, you notice that. Especially when you’re very thin — 5 pounds is not considered “afternoon weight” or “fluctuating.” Y’all can name-call all you want, but I noticed every single pound. Now, don’t get me wrong, I felt confident in my own body, it’s just my body felt a lot better in my clothes 5 pounds ago, and now they just seemed snugger.
Now, here’s the issue. I got married. It was bad enough I put on the relationship 5 and my clothes were snug, but after that I put on the marriage 5… or 8…. Potentially 10? Forget it, let’s call it the marriage 10… things got super snug. I’m definitely not overweight. I still look good. But, I’m not as thin as I was.
And fact is, I have a problem with that, because my weight gain isn’t bad enough to really want to fix, but I also do not want to buy new clothes. I REFUSE TO BUY NEW CLOTHES. That’s giving up. And giving up on 10ish pounds seems crazy. So, what do I do? I buy dresses in the same size I always bought them– dresses tend to be more forgiving. I’ve really expanded my dress collection since putting on some weight — but buying a larger size of pants or shorts — FORGET IT. I’M NOT BUYING THEM. That’s caving. I REFUSE TO CAVE.
So, what do I do? Oh I just feel claustrophobic when I put on all my pairs of pants nowadays. So I try and get creative, and wear a long shirt to cover my open button and zipper — because I feel like I can’t breathe when I zip it…. Seriously, when I wear pants nowadays, I can’t wait to get out of them… and as much as my husband wants to believe it’s because I’m frisky – it’s because I NEED OUT OF THEM.
So, to the people who judge me…. I do not think I’m fat! So stop rolling your eyes at me when I say I need to lose 10 pounds. I am not anorexic or whatever you may call me. I just want my old pants back. You know those 10 cute pairs I can’t wear anymore… or those pants I got at Christmastime, but only wore twice, because I SWORE I would lose that weight.
I’m not crazy. I just miss my wardrobe. And to be honest, I’m also sick of seeing girls with these super cute bodies at the beach or pool, and thinking, WOW I USED TO LOOK JUST LIKE THAT. So, can someone just cut me some slack please, and not judge me for wanting to lose weight? I’m sick of people telling me I look perfect and I’m crazy to want to change myself. I NEED A CHEERLEADER! CAN SOMEONE JUST SUPPORT ME?
So, to all the girls out there that needs to lose 10 pounds. I’m your cheerleader — I’ll be your cheerleader if you’ll be mine.
You’ve got this… and those jeans miss you…. They really really miss you.
The girl who misses her jeans.