Chivalry, it’s not dead. It’s just living in the South being practiced by Southern gentlemen that were raised RIGHT. Follow these rules, and you’ll be making her feel like the luckiest lady in the world.
Before date: Physically walk to her door and knock
Nothing makes me more angry than a man who texts “here” when picking a lady up for a date. This happened once to an old roommate of mine in college… I told her to ignore his text so he’d be forced to come to the door, so for the next 10 minutes, we giggled and watched him wait in his car before realizing that maybe he should just man up and knock on the door. Let’s just say he learned his lesson.
After date: Walk her to the door
Walking her to the door doesn’t mean you’re trying to go inside with her. Walk her to the door because you want her to feel secure, and let’s be honest, it’s a romantic way to END the date. Say goodnight (or kiss her goodnight) and tell her you had a wonderful time. Have self-control. Prove to her you’re a gentleman.
Give up your seat
If you’re in a crowded room, and there’s no seats and you see a lady standing. Offer her your seat. This goes for every woman, not just the woman you’re interested in.
Open doors for her
It’s such a small act, but it goes a long way. On the first date if you want to be remembered as a gentleman and a keeper, open her door. And after the first date, continue to open her door. Now I get it, after dating for a long time it becomes unreasonable to do it every single time, but my husband to this day still opens my door when we go on a date, or if he’s just trying to go a little above and beyond for me. It makes me feel loved, appreciated, and valued – and at the end of the day, that’s how a girl should feel, right?
B. Car door
Now you may be thinking this act is dead. Well you are dead wrong. To this day my husband still opens my car door, and to be honest he actually gets upset with himself if he forgets. It’s a habit to him, just like fastening his seatbelt, he always opens my car door. And guess what? I love the looks on strangers faces when he does. This simple gesture makes him stand out against the social norm.
Guide her through the room
Be a leader and make her feel secure. When you’re at a work event, party, or at a restaurant, place your hand on the small of her back (not her butt) and guide her through the room. It makes a girl feel comfortable and secure, especially if she feels out of place. This is something a girl may not even notice you’re doing, but it will unknowingly make her feel loved and secure in your presence.
Pay for her dinner
It’s easy. Pay for her dinner, unless she demands otherwise.
Help her with her seat
Pull out her chair in a restaurant for her to sit. Make sure to be graceful about this though. If you can pull this off successfully without seeming awkward, you will definitely have all the girls in the room saying “awww,” and making your lady feel like a princess.
Write her handwritten letters
Take the extra step; leave her a handwritten note. It’s one thing to get a cute text every once in awhile, but what a girl really cherishes, is a letter from you. When my husband and I first started seriously dating we would leave sweet notes for each other. We parked in the same parking garage for work, and I would sometimes secretly leave little notes on his car, and his on mine. Things like “I can’t wait to see you tonight!” I would also look forward to his notes or letters he left at my house. It’s the type of thing I couldn’t wait to snap a picture of and share with all of my friends. It’s meaningful and heartfelt, and something you can keep forever. You can’t say the same thing about a text message.
Move her to the inside of the sidewalk
Be a protector and make her feel safe. If you’re near a road, make sure you’re closest to the cars — not her.
Help her with her coat
This is just cute and makes her feel like a lady. If you want to make all the on looking ladies jealous in the room, do this.
Wait and walk beside her
I know this can sometimes seem like a big task, but wait for her and walk beside her. Sometimes when you’ve been together a long time, you forget this important rule, but stand with her, walk beside her, and hold her hand. Be patient. Don’t run ahead. She’s a treasure. You would never leave something of value behind you, so why would you leave her?
Stand when she stands
Over the top, but hey! Nobody is stopping you. It’s kinda precious.
Ask if she needs anything
This is not just a woman’s job, it’s your job too. What can you get her today?
Always be polite on a date
Let her go first. Do not shovel your food. Talk to her in-between bites. Make eye contact. Listen to her when she speaks. Do not talk about absolutely disgusting things. Do not look at your phone the whole time you’re together. All the things you should normally do… around people that you respect.
Do not stare
Women notice when you’re staring at their chest. Look into her eyes. Also, she notices when you’re looking at other women. We’re not blind.
Buy her flowers
And not just when you do something wrong, or if it’s Valentine’s Day. Buy her flowers just because! Buy her flowers because it’s a Wednesday and you want to show her how much you care about her. Even women who claim to “hate” flowers still secretly love receiving them. Trust me.
Tell her she looks beautiful. She needs to hear it. Even if she doesn’t accept the compliment, and points out a flaw or doesn’t acknowledge your kind words — she still wants to hear it and needs to hear it. Never give up on complimenting her. Build her up. Make her feel loved.
Respect your elders
Respect the people around you. Respect your parents. Speak to your mom like she’s the most important person to you. Ladies notice these things, and we also know the biggest rule of all: The way you speak to your mom is a great indication of how you’ll speak to your wife one day.
Do not lose your temper
It’s extremely unattractive and embarrassing if you can’t control your temper. We don’t need to hear you scream fowl things just because someone cut you off or didn’t let you over while driving. Sure you can express to us how that person needs to learn how to drive, but how you act in the car really shows us how you will treat us one day, when something doesn’t go your way. Same goes for how you act in a bar, with servers at restaurants, and other situations. If you can’t control yourself around people you barely know — how will you act with someone that you feel the most comfortable with? Control yourself.
Call her to ask her on a date – DO NOT TEXT
If you’re going to ask her on a date, call her. (Only do this if you know she is interested, don’t make her feel uncomfortable.) But, it’s definitely more romantic to receive a phone call. Asking someone on a date by text seems casual; asking her out by phone seems serious. It also makes you seem less like a boy and more like a man. Man up and call the girl.
Parking far – offer to drop her off
Women tend to wear heels and dresses, all things that make for uncomfortable long walks. Offer to drop her off at the door. If she declines, don’t pressure her. She could just want to spend the extra time with you. But, it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Offer her your jacket when she’s cold
Girls always end up in this situation: We wear a cute dress and heels and the temperature drops, and you’re dressed in a suit. Take this time to realize her needs, take off your jacket and place it over her shoulders. This not only shows you care about her, it shows that you want to take care of her and protect her. Also, it’s just nice.
If it’s raining, grab a umbrella or shield her.
Girls typically have longer hair and makeup on. Men get wet, they survive. Women get wet, it could be a nightmare. I’m obviously not speaking on behalf of all girls, but when my hair gets wet and dries, it’s not always pretty. Not to mention, this is just a nice thing to do for a lady. It’s one more thing that shows you’re in it for the long run and want to take care of her. Plus, it’s just precious and picture perfect.
Chivalry is alive and well. A true lady will demand it and a true gentleman will happily oblige.
I agree with every one of these. My friends often make fun of me for being the “50s housewife” but I expect to be treated with the same courtesy and respect that my man is given by me. I’m also proud to say that I have passed these rules onto my 11 year old son for years now and there is rarely a time where he does not hold the door for me or say ladies first.
“It’s just living in the South being practiced by Southern gentlemen that were raised RIGHT.” Are you saying that gentlemen are only in the south? What if you don’t live in the south? Does this mean I have no hope?