A “Back To December” moment.

Once upon a time I dated the perfect guy… but I let him go. When I say perfect I mean it. Not only was he a tall cutie, but he had a genuine heart of gold, along with being a med student, great Christian, drove a truck, loved boating & fishing… Total package! Why did I let him go you ask? … I’m not exactly positive, but I think it’s because I was so use to how guys used to treat me, that I didn’t know how to act when a good one came along. The “too sweet” thing seemed foreign, and I wasn’t even sure how to respond. So I ran.

Before I met this perfect guy, I had given up on love. Guys I had dated broke my heart, mistreated me, cheated on me, and more… so, in order to protect my heart I put my guard up, and tried to make myself believe that I didn’t want relationships anymore. I placed myself in this “screw guys, girls night” phase. I’ll admit, this phase made me even more unhappy in the long run, since everybody I knew was in a serious relationship… roommates, coworkers, EVERYBODY! And somehow, I became the token third wheel. I was surrounded by so many happy couples that I begun to strive and obsess over having the same thing… love. This whole situation depressed me, so I stopped going out and became a complete homebody.

The HUGE problem with being a homebody is the fact you can’t meet someone new from your living room. But, ha! God had his way around this. This perfect guy practically came to my doorstep. He was a guy I’d met in the past, but I never really spoke to him… and he contacted me! He intentionally pursued me out of the blue one day, and asked me on a date. I was literally swept off my feet.

In the beginning everything was going perfectly like a fairy-tale. I was so excited when he texted me, I couldn’t wait for the next PERFECT date, and he gave me butterflies… but then, something happened… I began to get annoyed by everything he did. I started to think he was too sweet, and complained about the way he communicated. I also started thinking he was too mechanically perfect… and it made me feel uncomfortable, because I didn’t feel nearly as perfect as him, or feel like I deserved him. He never judged me, but that’s just how I felt. Looking back now, I guess if I would have communicated my feelings, I wouldn’t have felt that way. Our relationship was missing honest communication.

Thinking back now, I was a complete selfish jerk to this guy. He liked me a lot, I knew he liked me a lot and I hurt him, by breaking it off out of nowhere… I used some lame excuse about how “I’m just not ready, and maybe we can try again down the road.” Absolutely everything I’d ever prayed for was right in front of me and I was running scared. I was afraid of falling for him, afraid of letting him down, afraid of failure, afraid of love, and I just didn’t feel like I deserved him… and to be completely honest, I didn’t. I needed to work on making myself happy first and not just assume that a relationship was the key to happiness.

I feel like God placed this man in my life for a purpose. He showed me what a perfect first date was really like, he showed me that gentlemen still do exist, he made me want to become a better person, but most importantly he showed me how a lady should be treated, and how I was so blinded by the jerks from my past. Although we never worked out, I have him to thank for opening my eyes and paving my direction for future relationships. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but God sure taught me how a man should treat me, and that’s like a princess. If this guy wasn’t right for me, I can only imagine what God has in store for me! I know it will be even better, and that’s such a blessing!

Xoxo
– Ruby