Contributor: Taylor
Twitter: @taylor_wardd
I attend a college bible study where I live in Northern California. I believe the phrase that I hear from 99.9% of the girls there is this, “I am so ready to have a husband and be married.” Now, I am only 19 years old, but I believe I’m beyond my years when it comes to wisdom. I think I’ve begun to roll my eyes at this phrase, especially since the girls who are saying this are clearly not ready to be married or have a relationship at all.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I cant wait to be married either! When I think of it, I get all giddy and excited and can’t stop smiling. I imagine a beautiful ring on my left hand and hearing sappy love songs and preparing the wedding of my dreams… yes I am a girl too when it comes to these things. But after becoming a Christian and learning about what God intends for marriage, my entire list of priorities changed.
I feel like a lot of girls haven’t heard this and need to understand that marriage is not just about selfish desires and finding a husband to make YOU happy. Marriage is about building one another up, and finding a partner who is going to put God in front of you and help you become the person you were meant to be. The question that some girls fail to ask is, “Would I make a Godly wife?” I mean, honestly ladies, do you believe that you are ready to put someone else’s needs in front of yours and do everything you need to do in order to be a Proverbs 31 woman?
I know that I have some growing to do! You have to understand that marriage isn’t all butterflies and rainbows, living in a house together without bills or problems and never worrying about anything else in life, because your husband works and all you do is stay home and clean up the kitchen.
When you get married, you have to love your husband unconditionally. It’s not a one-way street. He is going to mess up, but you have to forgive. He is also going to do things that probably will get on your nerves sometimes. That’s when you know that your husband is your leader, and you respect him and want to help him grow as well. You stand behind him in everything he does, and you remain a quiet-spoken woman while he speaks. You pray for him, and you pray together.
These are qualities you have to seriously consider while you are dating someone. Do I respect him? Will he make a Godly husband? Can I place him as my leader? Yes, these are hard questions, but marriage is so much more than just falling in love with someone. Marriage is so much more than feelings in general. So, like I said, it isn’t about finding a man who simply makes you feel good. Marriage is a partnership, and marriage was made to glorify God. So before you rant on and on about how you are so ready for a husband, make sure you are ready to be a Godly wife.
–Taylor
9 Comments
Love this.
Thank you! glad you enjoyed it.
This is perfect. Everyone should read this.
Very well said!
(“butterflies and rainbows” – lol)
I’m reading a great new book by Dr. Tony Evans and his daughter, Chrystal Evans Hurst called “Kingdom Woman” with some great perspectives on Proverbs 31 as well as to “challenge women to look higher than where you are to whose you are, and to be transformed by the truth of being a Kingdom Woman.” The book encourages women to set their eyes on Christ and to pursue what God has created them to be. It is true to that goal. I am thoroughly enjoying it! I also found they have free devotional downloads for the book at http://www.kindgdomwomanbook.com. I hope it blesses you as it has me!
Ahhhmazing. I had a lot to learn after getting married but I love my husband unconditionally. He loves me the same way. Marriage isn’t what the movies make it.
“Can you place him as your leader?” What century are you living in? While I respect your religious views, I’m appalled at your inability to merge them with a view of yourself as a capable human being. Belief in god and self respect are not mutually exclusive. Of course, always bowing to your husband will make a marriage easier, it surely isn’t the route for a satisfying or joyful life that provides you with the agency to carry out god’s plan for you. Terribly disappointing. Your backwards comments are setting women AND men back. Any man who looks for a woman to lead is doing so out of insecurity. A real marriage is one of two equals who respect and lead each other.
Excuse me, but I actually view myself as a capable human being. I am a woman. I am strong and independent, capable of making my own decisions and providing for myself. But when I am married one thing changes, I am no longerin full authority of my life. Right now, God I my autheouty. But when I marry, my husband is my authority and God is his. Letting a husband lead me and respecting and honoring him doesn’t make me less of a woman, if anything, I believe it probably makes me more desirable of a woman if you ask many men. If you read genesis, it’s in our nature to rule over men. Which is why it’s not surprising to me that you find it offensive- the thought of putting yourself under the full authority of a man, that is. But marriage is a wonderful opportunity to overcome that, to honor him and follow him wherever he leads. It doesn’t mean you don’t have a brain or thoughts of your own, it just means you finally have someone who thought that that brain or yours was worth marrying, and now you can trust and love someone enough to lead you where God wants you to go. It funny to me when woman can’t stand the thought of letting their husbands lead them. Men need respect. What’s more respectful than saying I trust you enough to follow you anywhere? Honey, if you keep this sad, feminist mindset- then I am afraid the only man you will find is one lacking a backbone and certainly not one who demands respect.
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