It’s not you, it’s me.

There will come a point in your life where you will meet a man, who by definition seems like the “perfect guy” on paper. He’ll have a great job, know all the right things to say, worship the ground you walk on… but sadly you’ll not be attracted to this individual. You’ll go a plethora of dates in hope that maybe, just maybe, a spark might flare up. The conversation won’t be bad, he’ll even make you laugh… but as you’re sitting there across the table from him you’ll catch yourself tuning out and asking yourself “why am I dating this guy?” We’ve all heard the age old phrase.. “It’s not you, it’s me.” But for the first time in your life you’ll understand this statement completely.

Now to make matters worse… ALL of your friends will adore him and they will try to push the idea of this guy onto you. This is the stage in dating awkwardness where you start to question yourself… “What’s wrong with me?!?” “What am I missing that everyone else is getting?!” People will start to ask how the relationship is going and you’ll be forced to fib.

To add on top of all of your confusion this guy is doing absolutely nothing wrong… the fact that he’s doing everything so perfectly is now starting to bug you. You’ll start finding ridiculous things that you don’t like about him.. Example: His laugh, he smiles too much, his hands are weird.

You’ll kiss him because you feel obligated to, but in reality there is zero connection on your end. It’s not his fault that you’re not feeling it, you’re simply just not that into him. So being women and being super confusing we’ll continue to date this poor guy. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES? All we’re doing is hurting him in the long run. I think it’s a mix of not wanting to hurt him & not wanting to be lonely as to why we stick out the relationship a lot longer than we should.

It’s time to break this pattern. We become devastated when a man leads us on, so why do we have a double standard? Life is too short to waste your time with a fling going no where, especially if you’re looking for the type of relationship that will potentially lead to marriage. If you’ve gone on a couple dates and have written him off as someone that you can’t picture as your future husband,  your mind set is NOT going to change, TRUST ME.

Don’t be afraid to hurt a man’s feelings. If he’s truly a man he’ll handle it like a big boy and move on. If he’s really as great of a guy as you think he is and the scenario is truly “it’s not you, it’s me” he’ll find somebody no problem! Stop being selfish and holding on to him when he deserves someone who feels mutually the same about him.

And stop thinking he is the best you’ll find, if you attracted this great guy, you’ll attract even better!  Have faith in yourself, God has the perfect guy set aside for you!

Xoxo,

Ruby