Hi! Let me introduce myself. I’m a 20 something, finishing up my college career, single, & I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
When I say I have no idea, I truly mean it. When I was in high school I pictured college to be this magical land, filled with knowledge and handsome potential future husbands. In reality, it was filled with womanizing frat boys, (Not all of them, I know a few sweethearts) and my interactions with men were probably better in Kindergarten than in college – at least “cooties” gave me a genuine reason to avoid boys. Anyways, I thought I’d leave college out on top… with an awesome job and perfect fiancé. Haha, yeah right…
I know I’m not a failure, but I can’t help but feel like one sometimes. Half of my friends have changed cities, or even changed states and have moved on to bigger and better things. Let me tell you, nothing slaps you in the face more than losing your roommates to success. One of my roommates recently moved to DC because she was offered an amazing job and the other one got married… then there’s me.
Everyone I know is getting married. I can’t sign on Facebook without seeing a new engagement. At the rate I’m going, I’m 20 bridesmaid dresses away from “27 Dresses”. I should be happy for my friends, but to be honest with you, sometimes I’m jealous as heck, and I just want to scream. I know I’m still young and people call me crazy, but I want nothing more than to start a family. I mean, let’s be honest, if this was the 1800’s I’d be expecting my 3rd baby by now.
What it stems down to is I simply want the same happiness I witness all around me. I know God has a plan for me, I’m just having a tough time understanding what it is.
Two weeks ago, during one of my pity parties alone in my empty apartment, I found myself pinning (typical) … and I stumbled upon a quote on Pinterest that said: “pray about it as much as you talk about it.” Then boom, it hit me… that was my problem. I was so busy hating my life situation, that I forgot to pray about it. So, I opened my Bible. It was as if God himself opened it up for me. I randomly flipped to Luke 11:9-10, which I had previously highlighted. It read: “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
After that day, I began to pray more, and I noticed the better my quality of life became. I noticed all the wrong doors closing and the right ones opening. I realized I was bringing myself down for no reason. I’m not a failure because I’m trying to figure out my life. I’m still young and I know God has a perfect plan for me.
Nowadays, society tells you that you need to be finished with college at a certain age, and have your dream job fresh out of college, but I’m sorry society, God has a different plan for me. It may not be my life long goal of marrying my dream man out of college and starting a cute little family, but I’m sure it’s something so much greater.
As for now, I am just so thankful for what God has given me so far. I have an amazing group of family & friends who support and love me, I am healthy, and very blessed to have the opportunity to graduate from college. I’ve accomplished so much with the life I have been given, and if my next step is grad school, because I can’t find a job – then so be it, because that’s the direction God is bringing me in.
Ladies, we are our own worst enemies. Who cares if you’re not on the path society tells you to be on. God put you on this road for a purpose! Make the best out of what you have! Just do life the best you can and stop worrying about what other people think. That’s the beauty of being young, we have time to make mistakes and learn from them. Trust in the Lord, and He will always provide for you!
So let’s cheers to NOT knowing what we’re doing with our lives! One day when we’re old and stressed because the baby won’t stop crying, we’ll be kicking ourselves for taking these days for granted.
My daily devotional: