We’ve all had those moments in our life where after a breakup, whether it was long or short term, where we’ll reflect on the relationship and we’ll ask ourselves “WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!”
1. The Frat Star
You know him, the guy who says bro every 2.5 seconds, he rocks Chubbies & a pastel polo, Costas around his neck and Sperrys on his feet, oh and he has a way of pulling off that sexy 5 o’clock shadow look. They’re both really annoying and smooth at the same time. The moment you lay eyes on him you know what you’re getting yourself into. He’s cocky, he parties too much, you know there’s no way he can truly respect a woman. He’s not even your type, yet you’re so drawn to him. You think of him as a challenge, he’s a wild animal and you want to be the girl to tame him. You want to be the exception. Haha, yeah righttttt. Let me tell you about my encounter with this kinda guy. At the time I thought we were on the road toward a functional relationship. In reality I ended up becoming his designated driver. He’d get black out drunk, call me and I’d go pick him up. I was crazy enough to think it was “cute” that he’d get drunk and just want to see me. One night after I picked him up he convinced me to hangout at his fraternity house. For some reason I thought this was a good idea. Absolutely nothing happened, he ended up passing out within minutes and I ended up sneaking out, because there was no way I’d spend the night in a dirty frat house. It totally looked like I was “walk of shaming” it out of the house. Talk about embarrassing. I knew I was innocent and he knew nothing happened, but alllllll his brothers assumed something did… somebody even clapped. I swear my heels have never clicked as loud as they did in that 30 second walk out of the house. Needless to say I eventually ended it. Seriously, what the heck was I thinking?
2. The Clinger
News flash buddy… I. DO. NOT. LIKE YOU. This is the guy you never officially dated, but in his head you’re in a deep official relationship… and all of a sudden he’s ready to introduce you to his family. Now even though you don’t like this guy, you’ll continue to text him because you like the attention, he simply boosts up your confidence and gives you free food and drinks. Okay, this is mean. But we’ve all done it at one point in time. I have a hard time turning down somebody who is nice to me. So, that’s what I do, I play nice, I hate hurting people’s feelings. I always end up dragging it on too long, until he does something really creepy… like confessing his love to me on my birthday or surprising me with concert tickets. Boy, that was a mess to clean up, what was I thinking?
3. The Psycho
There is something seriously wrong with this guy. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute your his world & the next he is cursing you out for God knows what reason. In my case this guy had a serious drinking problem, which then unleashed his evil twin. Example: We’d be out with friends, I’d hug a male friend of mine… and BOOM, I’m a cheating s***. Or, he’s out with the boys and I miss his call because it’s 2:30 am and I’m asleep… BOOM, I wake up to 3 voice-mails from him. Always the same three voice-mails too. First one is, “I hate you. Why aren’t you answering me? You don’t like me. Why don’t you care? I hate you. You’re cheating.” The second voice-mail is from his buddy, “Hey, I’m sorry, he’s really wasted right now”, meanwhile you can hear him screaming in the background. And the third and final voice-mail is, “Baby, I’m sorry, I just wanted to say goodnight. Baby, please call me back. Why are you doing this? Babe… Babe.. Babe.” This BOY, not man, is a pathetic loser. No man should ever, ever, EVER raise his voice to a lady. How I lasted 3 painful months with this jerk is beyond me. What was I thinking?
4. The Fake Christian
This guy lets everyone know how much he loves the Lord… but he doesn’t live up to the lifestyle. This winner roped me in with his “faith.” More like a sick joke. He knew I was a Christian and he knew that I valued and wanted a Godly man. So, he told me everything he knew I wanted to hear. He portrayed himself to be this perfect little Christian. He invited me to his Church, read the Bible when I was around, and constantly talked about his dream of wanting a God fearing wife… Then two seconds later he is trying to rub my thigh and get me in his bedroom. Talk about confusing, everything coming out of his mouth sounded great, but his actions said differently. He finally pushed his limits too far with me and I had to voice my opinion. I still can’t believe I fell for all of his tricks. I was thinking “awe, he’s cute, conservative and Christian”… NOT.
5. The Cheater
Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, had a nice girlfriend, but could not keep her. Why, why, why do we always go back to the guys who cheat on us? They never change! Like most women, it took me awhile to learn this lesson. I took him back twice (twice too many) and he ended up doing it again! I’m sorry but “it didn’t mean anything” is not a legitimate excuse. How about you’re a jerk who only thinks about himself. It took me witnessing him make-out with some girl for me to understand that he was disgusting. Why did it take me so long? I have no idea. I was young, dumb and thought I was in love… and obviously was not thinking.
6. The Child
No job. No car. Doesn’t care about school. Mommy & Daddy support him. Need I say more? Oh, did I mention video games? SO. MANY. VIDEO. GAMES. I thought guys out grew the video game stage in high school. Call of Duty, Madden, FIFA, some basketball nonsense… Seriously, I know all those games like the back of my hand because I had to watch him play that crap 24/7. The only thing he was good for was cuddling and back massages. I was bored, lonely, and just wanted to cuddle. Sure he was nice, but picking you up so you can take me on a date is absolutely ridiculous. For the love of God, just get your own car! I wasted a summer indoors, watching video games, for what? What was I thinking?
7. The Ugly One
When you dated him you thought he was adorable. Now that it’s over you’ve noticed how unfortunate looking he is. Were you drunk or blind the entire relationship? Probably both. Ew, what was I thinking?
Even though I look back on these guys and completely face palm myself, I’m glad God placed them into my life. They helped mold me and I hope they learned a lesson or two from dating me. If it wasn’t for them I’d still be trying to figure out my wants and needs in a man. So, for that, I thank them!
P.s. Tell me your “What was I thinking?” relationships, I’d love to hear them!