1. Is THIN mint some sick joke?
2. Who exactly is Savannah?
3. And why is she smiling?
4. Do you pick Samoa’s coconuts from where Eve got the Apple?
5. Can I win a cookie eating badge? #Winning
6. Why are you rationing the Samoas? I know you can fit more in the box.
7. My pants never fit during this season. How do you sleep at night?
8. Did you lace these cookies with God’s goodness?
9. Seriously, who actually buys Trefoils?
10. Why do you insist on Tag-a-logging to my thighs?
11. Why is Girl Scout cookie season SO short?
12. Why did you make Girl Scout Cookie season right after Christmas and right before bathing suit season? #NoRecoveryTime
13. Are you proud of ruining everyone’s new years resolutions for nearly 100 years?
14. Why can’t I resist you? … at midnight… 6am… lunch time… or for dinner…
15. Girl Scout cookies aka opiate for the masses?
16. How did you know that children and cookies were my achilles heel? #MarketingSkills
17. Who was the first person to put the Thin Mints in the freezer? Genius.
18. Do you get a badge for fattening your mom’s friends?
19. How is a serving size only TWO cookies?
20. …when you know I can eat a box for dinner. How much fat am I ingesting?
21. How many miles would I need to run to put this box behind me?
22. Never mind. I’m not running. Where are the Samoas?
23. Where do all the leftovers cookies go?
24. …Can you ship them to my house?
25. Leftover cookies… Does that even exist?